Sorry in advanced if this post is a little scatterbrained. I’m typing it out on a flight in the center seat and fighting for elbow room, and I think the altitude, screaming babies and dehydration could be getting to my head a little. I’m heading back to Philly from Denver and my future path has been decided due to some sad but opportunity-filled events. I’m not the type of person who opens up about things of this nature so publicly, but I think it could be good for me to talk about everything and be completely honest with anyone who keeps up with my life on this blog.
We all seem to hide the negativity in our lives, especially on social media. I wrote an Instagram caption about this about a year ago. I spoke of my insecurities and problems I face daily or have faced in the past, and about how I always seem to show photos of how great my life is, even when I’m actually unhappy. It’s no one’s obligation to be totally honest all the time, but I strive to be. If someone robotically asks me “How are you?” I don’t want to lie and say “Good!” if I’m not feeling good. Being honest about how I feel creates a space for deeper and more enriching connections with others, and I crave those over anything besides falling in love. To me, every single person in the world is genuinely interesting and has potential to teach you something valuable once you get to know them, and honesty is the key to unlocking communication of that nature.
My life is mine, your life is yours, and both are equally valuable.
I never want someone to see my life and feel badly about their own. I also don’t strive to be a traveler who often speaks about how they want their life to inspire others. I guess to me, that implies that my life is something to be envious of or comparable to. I feel as if that way of thinking can come off as presumptuous. What, my life is SO cool that it makes someone feel badly about their own? I really just want to be authentic and myself, nothing more or less. If I can inspire anyone while I’m simply being myself…honestly what could be better than that?
I guess the point I’m trying to make is that if I’m going to take the time to write about my life I might as well be honest with all of you. It’s incredible enough as it is that people are interested enough that they read this blog. It’s the least I can do in return! Most of all, I feel honesty is refreshing nowadays and maybe makes me a bit more relatable considering my lifestyle is quite unusual and difficult to relate to. I’m not just that chick who travels the world with a seemingly endless amount of money in my bank account, I go through ups and downs like everyone, and I want to share them with you. So, are you ready for me to get real?
I’m on this flight back to Philadelphia alone because my boyfriend Christian and I decided to split up in Colorado. We dated for about six months and it was really wonderful and absolutely made me a better person. If you’re reading this Christian, thank you for making me so happy the past six months. You’re an incredible, sweet, determined, and loving person who deserves the entire world. I’m sorry we couldn’t be that for each other. I want what is best for you and I know you want the same for me. To clarify, Christian is following his heart and settling in Denver with his golden retriever and best friends and creating his life there, and I couldn’t be happier for him. You’re going to kill it. I wish you every happiness and I’m going to miss having you by my side.
I’m grateful that maturity, self reflection, and honesty are a big part of both of our personalities and we ended things on a healthy and loving note. Breakups are messy by nature, but besides all the normal sadness and grieving that accompanies losing a partner, this is about as clean as it gets. He stays in Denver, and I head back home, move forward, and start my next journey.
So all the single ladies say haay! I’m joining your crew. Not only am I joining your crew, but I’m thinking about joining another type of crew, too. Florida is pretty cool, right?